When Hustle Culture Almost Killed Me

Connect with Renae - https://waywardwellnesscoaching.carrd.co/

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If you're listening to this and thinking how did I get here — you're not alone, and I'm going to explain.

This week on Hustle Rebels, I'm addressing the elephant in the room. A Calendly + Perplexity integration I still can't fully explain resulted in an influx of 74 new subscribers to my newsletter, The Weekly Recharge — and suddenly I had a room full of semi-strangers who deserved a proper re-introduction.

So here it is.

My name is Renae. I'm a former firefighter paramedic, burnout survivor, identity reset coach, and the host of Hustle Rebels — a podcast for high achievers who are starting to question whether the grind is actually worth it.

In this episode I talk about:

• How I lost 100 pounds the wrong way — starving myself to prove I belonged on a fire department
• The moment hustle culture stopped being a mindset and became a medical emergency
• Waking up from an 8-hour emergency surgery and texting my chief before I even knew what happened to me
• What the response I got back told me about the system we've all been slaves to
• Why I left the fire service, started over, and ended up here — talking about burnout, nervous system regulation, and sustainable success with whoever will listen

This episode is raw, a little chaotic, and a lot different than a typical episode. But if you've ever run yourself into the ground trying to prove you're enough — this one's for you.

The Weekly Recharge newsletter (the written version of this episode) is linked below. New here? Subscribe. No Calendly magic required.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

We have been slaves to a system that wouldn't care if we die on that operating table. Maybe my old identity needed to die on that table too. Maybe a part of it did. It just took a couple of years to fully let it go. Because here I am now telling the story to people who have been with me for a while, and to 74 semi-strangers who were, let's say, enthusiastically enrolled in a newsletter they didn't fully sign up for. So I accidentally invited 74 strangers to my newsletter, and I'm not even mad about it. So allow me to reintroduce myself. Let's address the elephant in the room. And I mean that quite literally. If you're reading this and thinking, I don't remember signing up for this, how the fuck did I get here? You're not wrong, and you're also not crazy. I'm going to explain. And if after reading this or listening to this, and you decide it's not for you, no hard feelings. Genuinely. The unsubscribe button exists and I respect it. And for those of you who gandered over here from the Hustle Rebels podcast, you can basically disregard the unsubscribe part because this is the audio version of my weekly recharge newsletter. And like I said, I am addressing an elephant in the room. But if you give me just a few minutes, I promise it will all make sense. And maybe, just maybe, you'll be glad that you ended up here. Okay, we need to talk. A few days ago, I set up some kind of email integration. Perplexity, calendly, a little tech wizardry that I honestly can't fully explain. And then something happened. An influx of subscribers. 74 new subscribers to be exact in a day. My first instinct, bots. Obviously bots. I was ready to issue a full apology tour to my email list, call it a full glitch. Except I recognized them. Faces from Zoom calls, names from Calendly bookings. People I'd actually spoken to, connected with, engaged ideas with. And somehow, some way, they all ended up here. Whether that was magic or bad AI magic, the jury is still out. I'll know by how many people unsubscribe after this. So allow me to reintroduce myself. A shout out to Jay-Z. H to the Izzo, V to the Iz A. Except it's R to the NA. And this is the weekly recharge. And if you actually have the newsletter and the email in front of you, you would see that I have this dope ass meme that I created of myself. So it's worth it actually subscribe to the newsletter.

unknown 2:51

Psst.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Which the link will be in the show notes. Wink wink. So if you're actually reading this for the first time and thinking, what the fuck, how did I get here? Who is this woman? Hi, pull up a chair. I have been waiting to meet you properly. And it's probably been a while, considering some of you I haven't talked to in quite some time. My name is Renee. Some of you know me as the firefighter paramedic from LinkedIn who built a program for police and fire departments. Some of you found me through the Hustle Rebels podcast. Maybe you were even a guest. Maybe you slid into my DMs after an episode hit a little too close to home. Some of you remember me when I was calling myself a nervous system regulation coach at the very start of all of this. All of you would be correct. And if you've made it this far without hitting spam, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Especially the spam part. Because crawling out of the spam folder is a special kind of humbling, and I'd really love to avoid that again. I never planned to be here. I worked my ass off to get onto a fire department after earning my paramedic license, lost a hundred pounds, not in the healthy, I found my rhythm kind of way, in the starving myself and running on fumes kind of way, burning as many calories as I possibly could through resistance training and cardio without completely passing out, proving I could be just as strong, if not stronger, than the men beside me, proving that I could hack it as a woman. And I loved my first department, really loved it. Every place has its issues, but I truly felt accepted there. I had my fair share of questioning why I left. But seeing the new department through rose-colored glasses and chasing the promises made by another chief that never came into fruition. But looking back now, it's funny how you needed to walk down a specific path, even when you couldn't see where it was going. Because leaving that first department led me to one that brought me to a crossroads with myself. The last department I was on forced me to look at the version of Renee that was constantly running from identities that were making her crumble. I thought I was burnt out from EMS. I wasn't. I was burned out from carrying everything, from people pleasing, from hustling myself into the ground and never putting myself first, from ignoring my body every single time it whispered and then screamed, enough. And then my body stopped whispering. I ate processed diet keto noodles just once, convinced that I was at my healthiest. I went septic, had emergency surgery, eight hours on the table, and when I woke up, not fully understanding what had just happened to me, the first thought that came into my head wasn't, oh my gosh, what just happened? It was, I need to text my chief and tell him I won't be in for my shift tomorrow. His response wasn't, Renee, don't worry about that right now, heal. It was, how are you going to manage your sick time? And right behind that, a text from the union president. Why is the chief texting me about a sick bank for you? Not concern, not well wishes, logistics. And that was the moment. That was the one that cracked it open. We have been slaves to a system that wouldn't care if we die on that operating table. Maybe my old identity needed to die on that table too. Maybe a part of it did. It just took a couple of years and a couple more surgeries, a grieving process, to fully let it go. Because here I am now, telling the story to people who have been with me for a while, and the 74 semi-strangers who were, let's say, enthusiastically enrolled in a newsletter they didn't fully sign up for. Now I'm not going to pretend I have it all figured out, but I am here to give you permission to put yourself first, to help you learn the signs of burnout before your body has to make that decision for you. To explore nervous system regulation, not as a buzzword, but as a real, lived, embodied practice, to show you that there's a frequency underneath language, a way that your nervous system communicates that most of us were never taught to listen to. See, we don't have to burn ourselves to the ground to succeed. That is not strength. That is survival mode wearing a productivity costume. And you deserve more than survival. If you've gone this far, I am genuinely, wholeheartedly thankful. This is a lot different than a typical weekly recharge newsletter. But I needed to address the elephant in the room and introduce myself properly. Not as a title or credential, but as a person who's been exactly where you might be right now. I hope you don't feel obligated to stay. I hope you feel welcomed instead. And then this week on Hustle Rebels Podcast, since I was soaking up the last of a Mexico trip last week, and D script had other plans for me offline. Here's the episode that's been sitting in the feed waiting for a few more ears on it. It's called the Unpopular Opinion. Burnout recovery can actually make you more exhausted. Yes, I said it and I meant it. Recovery isn't a straight line. And sometimes the most exhausting part isn't the burnout itself. It's what happens when you finally stop. So you can watch it on YouTube, or you can find it and listen to it on all your favorite podcast platforms. And if you're new here and part of the 74 new subscribers, or if you're feeling nostalgic and you want to read previous newsletters, you can check them out with the link below. I'm sending so much love and zero regrets about all of the chaos. And PS, if someone forwarded this to you and you actually want to be a part of the family and you're here on purpose, you can subscribe by following the link below and adding your email into the box. No calendarly magic required. See you guys next week. And I hope you stick around.